What is but what should never be

One Christmas when I was a kid my sister bought me a record she knew I liked.

“Elenore,” by the Turtles.

I loved that record. Played it over and over.

Then one day, I dropped it. Got a big scratch in it.

I put a nickel on the turntable’s arm. To help it ride over the scratch.


It worked. For a while.

Then, I had to tape another nickel on top of that nickle.

It worked for another little while.

Until it didn’t.

So, I took the nickels off. And, at exactly the same spot and in the middle of the exact same word, the needle would jump 3 rings over. Skip an entire stanza and start playing again like nothing happened.

I listened to it anyway. And got used to it skipping an entire stanza of what was supposed to be there.

But because the system had all the right components -An expensive turntable; a quality needle; top notch speakers – I kept thinking that it might just fix itself. Stop skipping. And play how it should.

Instead the groove just kept getting deeper and deeper.

Until I could barely bring myself to listen to it any more.

I haven’t thought of this remembrance from my childhood in years.

And until just a few moments ago, wasn’t certain why it suddenly popped into my mind.

Then I realized:


And even though I keep thinking it won’t – because it shouldn’t …

And even though I keep thinking that it might fix itself …

The record still skips …

The groove keeps getting deeper and deeper …

And even though I still love it …

It’s becoming more and more difficult to continue listening¬† …





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