Ra Ra Sis Boom Ba OR how to iron something without actually ironing something …

ironing

Ra

Photo One: Ra on his throne with the sun disk over his head.

Photo Two: ‘The Whole Concoction’ as referred to in story.

FIRST  STEP:

Drive around with no thoughts of garbage picking nor finding anything worthwhile &/or simply different that you might pull over and stick in your car while thinking ‘who knows, I might be able to use this someday.’

SECOND STEP:

After finding said ‘different’ thing that you ‘might be able to use someday,’ – in this instance, a 1/2″ slab of serious rubber infused with thick threads making it nearly impossible to cut with anything less stout than a sawzall – unearth it from the bowels of your storeroom, dust it off some and lay it out in the driveway.

THIRD STEP:

Place wrinkled item (s) in a new, shiny, black garbage bag and place bag on top of piece which you never thought you might find, and if you did find it, harbored vast amounts of doubt that you would end up actually putting it to use ‘who knows when.’

FOURTH STEP:

Place a thick piece of tempered glass on top of contents of garbage bag which sits atop thick slab of previously unearthed and dusted off rubber mat.

FIFTH STEP:

Do nothing. Don’t peek inside bag to see how things are progressing. Don’t drag the whole concoction to a different part of the driveway thinking that this will never work unless you proactively lend it a hand. Addendum: Only under 2 designated circumstances is it permissible to relocate the whole concoction by dragging it to an alternate spot on the driveway: 1) If whole concoction is in the exact route your car will need to travel if, for some reason or another, you simply have to leave the premises for a few moments. OR: 2) the sun is no longer cooperating and said concoction needs to be relocated to enjoy the full onslaught of its rays.

SIXTH & FINAL STEP:

In reverse order {as it would prove to be most difficult – not to mention ridiculous – to try to do so otherwise} disassemble the concoction you so painstakingly assembled a scant 30 – 60 minutes ago. A time frame wholly dependent on a variety of factors: a) both the amount and severity of wrinklege of which object of ironing was afflicted. b) the intensity of the Sun’s rays on this particular day. And, c) any number of other yet-to-be-discerned variables, any of which might {or might not} exert either a minor or major deleterious & not discovered-before-it-was-too-late scenario which rendered the entire aforementioned 30 – 60 session both null, void & moot.

SEVENTH STEP {Optional}:

Dance a Happy little Dance in Honor of Ra, The Egyptian God of the Sun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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